A Conversation with Stephen Ames
“Golf Doesn’t Consume Me Anymore; I Consume Golf”
Professional Golfer Stephen Ames and Alan Fine have had a coaching relationship for four years. While their coaching sessions initially focused on improving Stephen’s golf game, along the way, Stephen learned a powerful lesson: he figured out how to “consume” golf rather than having it “consume” him. He never expected his breakthroughs on the golf course would grow to encompass his other life roles as well: husband, father, and entrepreneur.
Flamboyant vs. Technical
Stephen the golfer evolved from being consumed and anxious about what he ‘knows’ – the technical aspects of the game — to that of a person who literally is at play during his matches. “Using the InsideOut process, I have figured out who I want to show-up and play the game: the technician or the flamboyant one. I’ve chosen the flamboyant one: the golfer who plays with feeling and instinct.” As Stephen further describes the impact of the process, he is surprised by how much fun he is having playing the game. Where mental interference used to dominate his thoughts, he is now composed on the course and enjoys relaxed, jovial interactions with his caddy and fellow golfers. What are the results in his golf game? Stephen has significantly improved. Admitting that driving the ball was the aspect of his game that gave him the most anxiety, he now says he is driving ball farther, faster, and with greater accuracy. And, he’s having more fun.
Stephen won for the fourth time on the PGA Tour in 2009, again at the Children’s Miracle Network Classic. He shot a final round score of 64, eight under par, winning a three-way playoff over George McNeill and Justin Leonard. He’s finished in the top ten 55 times and has featured in the top 25 of the Official World of Golf Rankings. He has earned nearly $18 million in his 17 years as a professional golfer. With the success he is having on the fairway, Stephen is now focusing on the greens. Stephen was ranked first in the 15 to 20 feet putting statistic in 2009 and is now focusing on his eight foot putts.
How? A Quiet Mind
Stephen has a standing “focus” coaching appointment with Alan every week. During these sessions, Stephen provides a review of the previous week. He describes his feelings and what he noticed about the playing environment. Then, he sets a new area of focus to “quiet his mind” during the upcoming week. “Quieting my mind means accessing my subconscious and focusing on one ‘feel’ aspect per week, such as the speed of my drives or my breathing during putts.” Other times, Stephen has chosen to focus on the logo on the ball, his posture, relaxing his arms, the walk between holes, or maintaining composure in challenging times, like when play is slow. Having one area to focus on each week has put the technical aspects of strategy, practice, and tournament pressures into proper perspective so they don’t cause interference with Stephen, the human being. Stephen says that having this focus has actually allowed him to reduce his practice time.
The Game of Life
When asked what the InsideOut process has meant to his overall game, Stephen expands his view and describes the positive results in whole life terms. Since he is fully present on the golf course, he has greater capacity physically, emotionally, and mentally for his wife of 19 years, Jody, and their two sons, ages 13 and 11.
“In the past, I was so consumed by golf that I didn’t have much left for my wife and family. Now I come home and focus on a quality, rounded life, where I am able to manage all aspects. It’s not golf all the time. I am the same person on the course as I am off,” Stephen said.
Jody and Stephen are committed to having a quality life and see the universal applicability of Alan’s simple process of focus to help them do so. Stephen said that they also use the process to help their sons in school and to overcome life challenges.
We spoke with Stephen on Monday morning from his home in Calgary, Alberta. He had returned the night before from tournament play in Phoenix. “There is three feet of snow on the ground here. I won’t be playing golf today; I’ve got other activities to tend to. Golf doesn’t consume me – I consume golf.”
