I then asked them about what they say to their sales people when they hear those kinds of responses from them. They told me they didn’t accept the explanation they were being given and that they encouraged, cajoled and even insisted their people use the tools. They talked about helping their salespeople overcome their resistance to change.

I suggested to them that perhaps they, the sales managers, were giving me the same rationale that their people had given them. They had likely been modeling to their people how to not do things differently. And they had been hiding behind what the Heath brothers called in their bestseller Made to Stick the “curse of knowledge”. In other words, theywere asking me for some secret piece of knowledge that, if only they knew what it was, would help them change without any discomfort.
And then the light bulb seemed to go on.

As I was thinking about the time and investment to ensure airline passenger safety, my mind jumped to coaching. Research shows that coaching is one of the highest-leverage activities for managers and leaders, yet ironically, our coaching practice and repetition is almost always limited to a one- or two-day workshop. Can we expect to be as effective in coaching as airlines are in safety when we compare their training hours to ours?
Hmm …

Professional Golfer Stephen Ames and Alan Fine have had a coaching relationship for four years.  While their coaching sessions initially focused on improving Stephen’s golf game, along the way, Stephen learned a powerful lesson: he figured out how to “consume” golf rather than having it “consume” him. He never expected his breakthroughs on the golf course would grow to encompass his other life roles as well: husband, father, and entrepreneur.

Flamboyant vs. Technical

Stephen the golfer evolved from being consumed and anxious about what he ‘knows’ – the technical aspects of the game — to that of a person who literally is at play during his matches.  “Using the InsideOut process, I have figured out who I want to show-up and play the game:  the technician or the flamboyant one.  I’ve chosen the flamboyant one: the golfer who plays with feeling and instinct.”  As Stephen further describes the impact of the process, he is surprised by how much fun he is having playing the game.  Where mental interference used to dominate his thoughts, he is now composed on the course and enjoys relaxed, jovial interactions with his caddy and fellow golfers.  What are the results in his golf game?  Stephen has significantly improved. Admitting that driving the ball was the aspect of his game that gave him the most anxiety, he now says he is driving ball farther, faster, and with greater accuracy.  And, he’s having more fun.

Stephen won for the fourth time on the PGA Tour in 2009, again at the Children’s Miracle Network Classic.  He shot a final round score of 64, eight under par, winning  a three-way playoff over George McNeill and Justin Leonard.  He’s finished in the top ten 55 times and has featured in the top 25 of the Official World of Golf Rankings.  He has earned nearly $18 million in his 17 years as a professional golfer. With the success he is having on the fairway, Stephen is now focusing on the greens.   Stephen was ranked first in the 15 to 20 feet putting statistic in 2009 and is now focusing on his eight foot putts.

How? A Quiet Mind

Stephen has a standing “focus” coaching appointment with Alan every week.  During these sessions, Stephen provides a review of the previous week.  He describes his feelings and what he noticed about the playing environment.  Then, he sets a new area of focus to “quiet his mind” during the upcoming week.  “Quieting my mind means accessing my subconscious and focusing on one ‘feel’ aspect per week, such as the speed of my drives or my breathing during putts.”  Other times, Stephen has chosen to focus on the logo on the ball, his posture, relaxing his arms, the walk between holes, or maintaining composure in challenging times, like when play is slow.  Having one area to focus on each week has put the technical aspects of strategy, practice, and tournament pressures into proper perspective so they don’t cause interference with Stephen, the human being.  Stephen says that having this focus has actually allowed him to reduce his practice time.

The Game of Life

When asked what the InsideOut process has meant to his overall game, Stephen expands his view and describes the positive results in whole life terms.  Since he is fully present on the golf course, he has greater capacity physically, emotionally, and mentally for his wife of 19 years, Jody, and their two sons, ages 13 and 11.

“In the past, I was so consumed by golf that I didn’t have much left for my wife and family.  Now I come home and focus on a quality, rounded life, where I am able to manage all aspects.  It’s not golf all the time.  I am the same person on the course as I am off,” Stephen said.

Jody and Stephen are committed to having a quality life and see the universal applicability of Alan’s simple process of focus to help them do so.   Stephen said that they also use the process to help their sons in school and to overcome life challenges.

We spoke with Stephen on Monday morning from his home in Calgary, Alberta.  He had returned the night before from tournament play in Phoenix.  “There is three feet of snow on the ground here.  I won’t be playing golf today; I’ve got other activities to tend to. Golf doesn’t consume me – I consume golf.”

The instructor at Angeles National Golf Club has been influenced by a variety of professionals.

When John Ray Leary played junior golf, he was fortunate to learn from Eddie Merrins, now the professional emeritus at Bel-Air Country Club.

Leary, who began working at Angeles National in late 2007, spent three years caddying for Chi Chi Rodriguez on the Champions Tour. He also counts Dennis Sheehy and Alan Fine — who have both taught PGA Tour player Stephen Ames — as influential figures.

What inspired you to become a golf teacher?
I will forever be a student of the game. I love being the stepping stone for my students to try to become the best players they can be.

What was the first thing that attracted you to the game?
The ability to compete and rely only on yourself. In golf, you always have the last shot in the game, and I love that aspect.

What’s the best golf tip you’ve ever received?
The game is 50 percent brains and 50 percent guts. When one outweighs the other, the game will beat you. I learned that from Chi Chi Rodriguez.

What’s the most common problem you see in your students, and how do you fix it?
Poor impact. There are a multitude of drills to get better impact. The one I like the most is to take half backswings and half follow-through swings, with the follow-through feeling as if the clubhead never gets above the hands.

Whose swing do you admire most on the PGA Tour and why?
Trevor Immelman. I played a lot with and against him when we were juniors and amateurs, and I have seen the work he has put in to get to where he is today.

What’s your best round ever, and where?
A 63 on the North Course at Los Serranos Country Club for the Nissan Open Qualifier. I own six course records, too.

What is your favorite part of the game?
Short game. There are so many different interpretations of a basic-looking shot, like a flop, bump and run, skip and check, etc.

What professional golfer would you most like to be reincarnated as?
Way too easy — Tiger Woods, because he is The Man.

What’s your greatest achievement in golf?
I like to think it has yet to come. If I feel like it has happened, then there is no reason to work hard anymore.  SG

In the post-match interview with Federer, the press fished for the negative drama, implying how he must be crushed at not winning for the sixth consecutive time and whether this meant the end of his career, etc. In his answers, Federer displayed a trait I see in all top performers , one described well in Carol Dweck’s research: Those who see ability as something that can be developed believe that success is a result of effort. They’re motivated—not discouraged— by failure. They see themselves as learners and problem-solvers, and if one solution doesn’t work, they’re ready to try another.

Happy and optimistic, Federer wasn’t making it mean anything other than what it was —one lost match in an otherwise incredible year. He viewed the loss not as a failure, but as a stepping stone to become even better. In these tough times, helping our people keep focused on what’s possible is part of how we can help them develop the same mind set. But we should remember it’s not a one-time conversation but an ongoing one.

On the notion as to why these ideas are so universally applicable is that the process (G.R.O.W.) seems to be a universal way to map or organize decision making in us as human beings.  Tim Gallwey, the author of the best-selling book, “The Inner Game of Tennis”, talks about “distracting us from that which distracts us.“ That’s what G.R.O.W. does. It distracts us from the differences in perceptions that occur as a consequence of thinking styles, personalities, organizational history and cultural biases. These differences distract us from what’s important.

G.R.O.W. helps us focus on what is common for all of us—the critical variables of decision making. Each stage of G.R.O.W. is critical; the content of each stage is variable according to each person’s point of view. Focusing on these stages systematically brings increased awareness to all parties and therefore more ability to be responsible—or “response-able” as Stephen R. Covey puts it.In the end, it’s only when people are response-able that performance can change.

To him, playing not to lose meant playing safe, taking no risks, listening to the voices in his head saying: “You can’t make errors”, “You’re going to miss the cut”, “Maybe now is the time to retire.” The priority was always to avoid making a mistake. It was energy draining, confidence sapping, and caused him to focus on things that were not critical to creating a good score. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. He devoted so much attention to avoiding disaster there was nothing left for creating success.

In contrast, playing to win meant taking calculated risks, keeping attention on what needed to happen to create lower scores (as opposed to what shouldn’t happen) and being too busy doing that to listen to any internal conversation. It created excitement rather than anxiety.
As he elaborated on what these two approaches meant to him, I realized that I hear managers talk about exactly the same symptoms in their
people , AND I hear their people say the same thing about their managers.

Statistics in golf show that people who are afraid of shooting a high score have tremendous trouble shooting low scores. Shooting low
scores demands a different strategy to avoiding a high score.